JokerCarnage5

It feels like it's been ages since I gotten any writting done. I have a lot of ideas for stories, all fanfics for either Transformers or Bob's Burgers. The issue is turning them into cohesive narratives. I've tried charting my the stories so I can see how all the plot-beats hang together (I think some call it the snowflake method) but no matter what I do nothing comes together cohesivley, at least not in a way that's satisfying to me It's so freaking frustrating cause I love writing fanfiction and it used to take up so much of my time but now I'm baerly able to write anything at all, meaning I hardly do anything at all. Writting has never been harder for me and don't know why! All my projects are stuck in limbo and don't know how to get them out of there.

So things have really gone downhill for me recently. I have gotten an eviction notice since I have not kept my apartment clean enough and no matter how much money I try to save, my bank account remains pretty low. On top of that, I dont know how I will deal with my future. Social anxiety & depression continues to bedevil me. I have found some new coping-mechanisms that I'm willing to try out. Btw, if anyone know of any good social networking sites or chat rooms for a guy like me, please recommend them to me. My plan is to get to a point where I can handle social interactions enough that I can get a job or whatever. In a sense, move on with my life and not have to worry about my brain demons. My mom on the other hand thinks differently. She thinks my mental issues are so severe I should move into a communal living where I can have around-the-clock care and live with people with similar problems. I have conflicting feelings about this idea. On one hand, it feels like giving up. It feels like I'm just throwing my hands up in defeat and say "You win, mental disorder, YOU WIN! I am too hopeless to live independantly, to go to school, to have a job or anything remotley normal." On the other hand, maybe it won't be so bad for me. When was 18 I lived an entire year in a home for troubled youth and while I complained a lot, in retrospect it was one of the best years of my life. I was so much more thick skinned back then too. Nowadays if someone insults me or something I like I throw an immature hissifit about it but back then when the guys did it I'd just shrug it off. Then again, the only reason I was at this youth home was to learn how to be independant so I could then live by myself so I knew I would eventually get to leave. My mom says I have to acdept my mental disorders and while I a part of me understands what she means, another part of me despairs that my entire life will be this loneley & internal suffering. I am not a good person, I know. I don't have the social intelligence to be a good person and I apologize to everyone who have been hurt due to that but I'm trying to be better. I want to be the kind of person who can get along with people and who isn't this grouchy, immature loner who dwell on his own missery but if I will ever change it will be a long arguous process.

For those that don't know, I am not a fan of the Grossology Wiki. I think its an appalling website filled with misinformation, spelling errors, fanart and headcannons that do not belong on a site that is suppose to provide facts. Due to a reason change to one of their articles I feel compelled to call them out because this time they've somehow managed to get me indirectly involved in their spreading of misinformation. If you go to the Grossology Wiki's Home Page, there's a link titled The Girls which leads to an article on the two girl character's that are always following Paige around in the series. This is what the article says; ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tammy and Vicky Tammy and Vicky are two wannabe girls who follow Paige around and act as her crew/or poesy. They often join Paige in mocking and making fun of Abby and others. [hide]Contents PersonalitiesTammy Vicky Appearances Trivia Personalities